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No Ramen for You!

April 30, 2010

Lately, my first thoughts of the day are what I should write about.  Sometimes the ideas pop right in my head, other times I am slapped in the head with inspiration as I go about the routine, mundane things that occupy most of my day.  The latter happened this morning.

Now, my goal for today was to not write about the various bodily fluids that I encounter, but alas, it was not meant to be.  I opened my middle child’s door only to be greeted with a HUGE pile of Ramen noodle puke.  “Dude, what happened?” I exclaimed.  He looked down at the mess and says, “Hey, did I do that?  I don’t remember doing that; but I had a dream I did it.”

I’ve read about many different activities that people engage in while they are asleep, but I’ve never read about this one before.  How lucky for me, to be involved in the first documented case of sleep puking.  I quickly remembered what happened the last time I had to clean up this particular child’s vomit, and eerily, it was in the same exact spot that the new mess resided.  I had flashbacks of losing my own (very good) dinner of Pad Thai.  I decided I couldn’t deal with the Mount Saint Ramen at that moment, and went about getting to kids off to school.

After the kids left, I pondered the mess over coffee.  I knew I had to clean it up, but I also knew it was going to require way more effort than I had to give at 7 A.M.  So, I continued to drink coffee and mess around on the Internets.  Then it hit me…not only was my own puking inevitable during the cleaning process in my future, the only thing in my stomach was a pot of strong coffee.  Coffee is in the top 5 of my Things I Don’t Want to Puke List.  Matter of fact, I think the only thing that trumps coffee puke is orange juice puke.

Nevertheless, I bucked up and tackled the Ramen noodle and unidentified blue substance pile of goo.  The good news is, I was able to keep the coffee down.  The bad news is I think I broke my Little Green cleaning machine and I’m still going to need to lay down a couple of C notes to get my friend, Stanley, to come out and give it a good once over.

All is not lost, however, as I learned some valuable lessons today.  One, no matter how hard I tried, wiggling my nose did not magically clean up messes.  Two, Ramen noodles are not to be served after 8 P.M.  And finally, when home alone and faced with cleaning situations I’d rather avoid, utilize the dog.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 30, 2010 8:05 pm

    That’s hilarious–sleep puking! Let’s hope it doesn’t catch on! I’ve been a Mom for 23 years and I STILL gag cleaning up puke, especially when it still LOOKS like what they ate! 😉

  2. May 1, 2010 2:23 pm

    Oh, puke is my downfall. Just hearing someone puking makes me gag! Thanks, for reading, Heidi!

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