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Once, Twice, Three Times a Wife

September 10, 2010

Last night, as I was flipping through the eleventy hundred channels I have trying to find something to watch, a show promo caught my eye. Now, I’m eagerly awaiting September 26th for what I predict to become the Queen Mother of Train Wreck TV.  Yes, this new show is going to dethrone the current Grand Supreme crown holder, Toddlers and Tiaras. I just know it.

The new show, titled Sister Wives, is focused on a man named Kody and his 3 wives. He also happens to be engaged to another woman, who will become the 4th wife. The show description, according to People Magazine states, “Kody struggles with keeping his unorthodox family life a secret from the outside world.” So right off the bat, it appears that Kody is not the sharpest tool in the woodshed. I hate to break it to you, Kody, but we’ve seen this scenario played out before on TV and the end results are usually less than stellar.

Now, I’m not as naïve to be shocked about a show revolving around polygamy, hell I used to watch Big Love until it petered out and I lost interest. But that was fiction; this is reality, albeit possible pseudo-reality.  That, coupled with my penchant for trashy TV, puts this show on the top of my DVR To Record list. Honestly, I could really care less what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes, but I have to admit my curiosity is peaked to get a glimpse of this family’s life. But, I truly hope that Kody is making enough money to pay for all of his 13 children, because I don’t think he’ll be too popular with his viewing audience if we’re supporting his “unorthodox” lifestyle.

My first thought after seeing the promo was “what the hell is he drugging these women with to make them happily go along with such nonsense?” But after I contemplated it more, I can see some situations in which this might work out. For example, if one of the wives is solely in charge of cleaning, then I could get on board with that. And if there was a dedicated cooking wife, then yes sign me up! I can also see the bennie of having a wife with a teaching background, to help out with the all the homework that leaves me feeling like I should be contacting my institution of higher learning to request a refund for my BS degree. And while that does mean Bachelor of Science, I affectionately refer to it as my Bull Shit degree.

Additional perks to the multi-wife lifestyle could also include those times when you have a “headache”. No need to feel guilty about not wanting to do the deed ever again – just send him on to the next wife! It also solves the problem of finding a shoulder to cry on (or bitch on). I mean sometimes you just feel like your BFF can’t fathom the depth of your hubby’s ineptitude at *fill in the blank*, but your Sister Wife will completely understand and be able to fully commiserate with you. Plus, I would think having more than one wife would guarantee baby-sitting and taxi duties for those times when you need to have kids on different ends of town at the same time.

Matter of fact, the more I think about it, it seems like a pretty good deal. Now, I’m just wondering where to start the search – the Walmarts or Craigslist?


11 Comments leave one →
  1. September 10, 2010 10:31 am

    This is more than a little intriguing. They should create a site for sister-wifes… They can call it I’

    • Adri permalink
      September 10, 2010 10:39 am

      I love it. I always wanted a wife. Perpetually, you better grab that site up; you’re on to something, sista.

  2. September 10, 2010 10:46 am

    I think you’re on to something, too. Get on that, Peeved, so I can find me some Sister Wives. Haha!

  3. September 10, 2010 10:48 am

    When I first starting reading your post I thought “seriously? This guy wants to keep his life a secret so he gets a reality show? And what are these women thinking?” But then I thought about the pros you points out and I realized this might be a win-win for everyone involved. I have visions now of never having to cook again.
    So ladies, I’m taking applications for the position of wives #2-5 for my hubby. Requirements include shoe size of 6.5 and same size clothing so we can share our prized possessions along with our husband.

  4. September 10, 2010 11:36 am

    Thank you..really informative!!

  5. September 10, 2010 11:38 am

    I DO think you’re on to something, now that you put like that. 😉 “Sister Love” sounds TOO trashy T.V. for me, though, the only trash I allow myself is “Project Runway”.

  6. September 15, 2010 6:24 pm

    My guess is you will have faster responses with Craigslist but you can see for yourself at Walmart! Now that you point those things out, it really wouldn’t be that bad of an idea after all! All the household chores split up amongst them all? Nice. There are more to pick up after but if I have my designated task, I can leave the other jobs to my “associates”!

  7. Liz permalink
    September 22, 2010 10:53 am

    When I saw the ad for this show I thought that I MUST SEE THIS. I like you point about someone else understanding what a dickhead your husband can be! I wonder if I could just be the trophy wife role and let the rest do all the dirty work. !

  8. September 23, 2010 8:26 am

    Well, I’ve had no luck finding a new wife at the Walmarts. And dammit, I wear size 8 in shoes. Haha!!! And Liz, I think you’re onto something there 😉

  9. December 5, 2010 9:28 am

    I have watched the show too and I just can’t fathom him making enough money to support all those wives and kids…sometimes I picture that lifestyle with one of those wives sewing all the clothes in the back for all those kids, milking cows, growing veggies, and having chickens…something I would think a lifestyle of the 1880’s is more suitable of seeing

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