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Your Lawsuit is Making My Meal Sad

February 2, 2011

The other night I was settling into my bedtime routine, getting all comfy and relaxed, half assed watching the news (just to be informed about impending snow) and blissfully awaiting my pre-lights out routine of catching an episode of Seinfeld. But the only thing I saw on my TV was Nightline. Nightline! I quickly clicked on the guide to see that Seinfeld had been bumped to midnight. WTF! Doesn’t my local ABC station know that I fall asleep to the witty antics of Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, and George every night? And that it’s not possible for me to stay up later than 12:05 A.M. to get my nightly fix?

Even though I’m not your usual Nightline viewer, the headliner did grab my attention. A mother is suing McDonald’s over the Happy Meal toys. Since I was already in a pissy mood about missing out on my Seinfeld fix and my whole bedtime routine was messed up anyhow, I decided to watch. This mother, who we’ll call “Monet” because that is her name and I only protect the names of the guilty in this blog, is SUING McDonald’s because her claim is that even though she says “no” to her kids when they want Happy Meals, the advertising of the fast food joint trumps her and entices her kids to want the unhealthy meal no matter what she does, even telling them no. So, her solution, naturally, is to sue McDonald’s, force them to make the Happy Meal “healthier” so her kids can partake in the rotation of the weekly toy.

Normally, I would never call another mother out like this. Too many times, I’ve been on the receiving end of the Mother Call Out. I’m a “live and let live” kinda gal, but my panties do get in a bunch over a frivolous lawsuit. I hate to be the one to point out to Monet that you can actually buy the Happy Meal toy without buying the Happy Meal, or let alone ANYTHING at Mickey D’s. But you can. You can fill your kids up on soy milk, organically grown veggies washed with a special produce cleaning solution, and free range chicken that you can cut into nuggets yourself and cover with homemade wheat bread and then drive your happy and healthy ass to McDonald’s and buy the G-damned toy.

I have four kids. I am by no means unfamiliar with child harassment. As a matter of fact, all four of my kids are master harassers. But I’m still the adult and I have veto power and I’m not afraid to use it. I could give two shits if my kids are upset with me if they can’t have the weekly Happy Meal toy. Of all the things I’ve done, I find that to be the least of my concerns for future therapy session topics. Far be it for me to suggest that other mothers simply say no (and stand firm!) to the Happy Meal if it’s against their beliefs. As Nightline guy said (sorry not a regular viewer so I don’t know his name) in reference to the lawsuit, “Some feel this is un-American or all too American.”

And ironically, it IS both. We want our freedoms, but at the same time we ask our government to intervene to take away someone else’s freedoms. Instead of suing McDonald’s over their stupidly annoying toys, why don’t we, as parents, take the opportunity to teach our children some discipline and how to delay immediate self-gratification instead of relying on the government to do our jobs as parents? I mean that would serve them better in the long run than suing McDonald’s to take away something that is perfectly legal, and well an American icon. Monet states that she doesn’t want any money for this lawsuit, just options for the children. Well Monet, you do have options – STOP GOING TO McDONALD’s.

So I guess I said all of that to say this: Monet, you don’t speak for me. And I would guess there are many other mothers who would say the same. Please stop asking our courts to take away time to hear your stupid, frivolous lawsuit because you find it hard to say no to your kids. There are far more important issues in front of these courts that DO impact our children’s lives.

Let them do their job. And in the meantime, Monet, do yours.


11 Comments leave one →
  1. February 2, 2011 9:29 am

    You tell ’em sista! You mean she can’t ever say no to her kids without taking the heat for it? What’s next? Maybe I should sue Toys R Us for having such bright colors in their signs that my kid always wants to go there when we pass it. Or maybe I should sue Disney for having such a cute mouse and products with all those characters on them because my kid won’t stop asking for the latest Cars toy. Seriously??? Why do the rest of us have to deal with her inability to parent. Sounds like she’d get a failing grade from her kids teachers (reference to my recent post on a bill that is being proposed;)

  2. February 2, 2011 10:51 am

    I whole heartedly agree! If I were an asshat, I’d probably sue Sony and Nintendo — I mean they have made tons off of me. Thanks for reading!

    • February 2, 2011 5:18 pm

      Um no, I didn’t hear about that…surely that’s not even real?! 😮

  3. February 3, 2011 9:06 am

    I can tell my daughters no easily and they throw on that female charm pretty fast but I am steadfast and am often reminded by my wifey that “they” aren’t my Marines. My usual response to my 5 year old wanting to goto McDonald’s though is…daddy doesn’t have any money, do you have any money?

    • February 3, 2011 11:15 am

      yes, it’s funny how that no money thing is kinda tricky now that kids understand the concept of credit cards. Mine always says “do you have any money” and if I say no he says “you can just use your credit card.” I usually just go with no and when he asks why I say, “because I feel like being a big meanie today”. When he tells me how his friends parents let them do x or get x I just say “they have a nicer mommy than you do I guess”. and he usually tells me I’m nicer and then forgets all about what he was asking for.

  4. February 3, 2011 11:03 am

    awww…so if I bat my eyelashes at you, you won’t buy me a Happy Meal? 😉 BTW, I used that line once, and my son told me to use my credit card. Haha!

  5. Birdie permalink
    February 4, 2011 8:15 am

    The “blame” culture…heaven forbid she take credit for her actions instead of blaming someone else! Oh, and when my mom would tell me she was out of money I’d tell her to write a check:)

  6. February 5, 2011 11:29 pm

    All I can say is AMEN. I am so sick of parents not taking responsibility for their kids. If my kid turns out to be a spoiled, snotty, asshole there is no one to blame but myself.

  7. September 1, 2011 11:48 am

    Someone ought to orient Ms. Monet to the reset button that kids have. It’s located on the posterior buttocks, and a simple whack, sometimes two, is sufficient to trigger the System Reset software in children. This allows the Parent Unit to reprogram the Child Unit.

    • September 1, 2011 12:15 pm

      I could tell you were a soldier without even looking at your profile 😉 Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!

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