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$how Me the Money: Why can Kiss My A$$

May 4, 2012

Every year I see this report declaring what salary moms should earn if they got paid for all the stuff they do for free. The one thing that irritates the hell out of me about this is that the figure given is so outrageous it’s almost insulting. For example, this year’s average figure for stay-at-home moms is $112,962. The geniuses at explain how they came up with their calculation:

Stay-at-home moms work a total of 94.7 hours a week, with a 40-hour base and 54.7 hours of overtime on their mom duties. That’s good for an annual salary of $112,962, or $17.80 an hour. But we all know the value of raising one or more people into quality human beings cannot ever be truly calculated.

Apparently, the assholes who write this crap think stay-at-home moms are too stupid to see their condescending tone and that we’ll be wooed by the thought that even though we will NEVER make that much money for doing what we do that somehow it will makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside that some faceless idiot wrote up an article that we should make $100K for our never-ending work. Well guess what? I’m throwing the bullshit flag on this one.

However, I still decided to humor the idiots at and take their little assessment to see what my “mom paycheck” would be. Mind you, I live in a rural area where there aren’t a lot of job openings and the majority of jobs around here start at the minimum wage level. But the mom paycheck calculator decided my personalized mom salary should be a whopping $247,181.

And this is supposed to make me feel better how? I mean the governor of the state of Ohio only makes $144,269 per year. Is being a mom of 4 hard work? Hell yes. Is it harder than being in charge of a state where 11,544,951 people live? I’d venture to say no.

See my point? Over-estimating the value of work done by stay-at-home moms doesn’t serve any purpose. It’s kind of like getting a ribbon for coming in 10th place. No matter how hard we work, nobody will ever offer to pay us anything close to that amount. Yes raising decent, law abiding, productive people is priceless but some things you do in life because they are the right thing to do, not because someone is going to pay you butt loads of money to do it. Having children and raising them is not an enterprise entered into for profit. As a matter of fact, it usually breaks the bank.

Maybe I’m in the minority for feeling insulted instead of flattered over my $247,181 estimated value. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not worth a penny over $247,179.  And I guess it’s possible I’m just turning into one of those grumpy old women in need of some Prozac.

What do you think? About the salary thing, that is. Not the state of my mental health. We all know that’s a lost cause.

Want to see your mommy paycheck?

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Randle permalink
    May 4, 2012 1:05 pm

    Bullshit flag indeed!

    Besides ‘Helle, we all know You’re priceless!!

    • May 4, 2012 4:49 pm

      Well priceless might be stretching it… Thanks for reading.

  2. May 4, 2012 4:11 pm

    Dear Ms. Helle:

    Allow me to introduce myself. I am agent McNasty of the IRS. I would like to talk to you at your earliest convenience about your failure to pay tax on your imputed income for the past few years. You may bring legal counsel.

    • May 4, 2012 4:51 pm

      Ha! I’ll send them an imaginary check from my imaginary mommy paycheck account. That’ll show ’em. Thanks for reading.

  3. May 7, 2012 6:36 pm

    I’ve been a stay at home dad for a while. Just the urge not to kill my one little 19 yr old jerk is bad. If I were to be compensated for pain and suffering for any other kind of mental abuse, would double your figure.

    • May 8, 2012 7:45 am

      I think they should send you home from the hospital after giving birth with a lifetime supply of Xanax. Thanks for reading Curm. And hang in there.

  4. WordsFallFromMyEyes permalink
    May 15, 2012 8:42 am

    I really agree with you here – condescending. They’re just being ridiculous and they don’t make me feel great, I assure you. I don’t know why they bother. With all the different circumstances (I’m single, some are married), it can be harder for some than others. This was a great article, to highlight.


    Noeleen, (video diary toward sobriety) / (first draft of a novel I’m writing)

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