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Are You an Asshole? I am.

July 19, 2012

Maybe I’m just becoming one of those crotchety old women who like to complain about every little thing that pisses them off, but since I’ve joined the working world, I’ve noticed there are a helluva lot of people out there who don’t have any fucking manners whatsoever.

I blame most of this on technology. Ever since people started burying their noses in their cell phones and laptops 98% of their waking hours, it seems as if we have forgotten how to interact with real live human beings.  Just open your Facebook account one day and check out how many people are telling you things they would never dream of saying to your face. And then there’s all of their lovely “friends” who make asshat-ish comments about those icky status updates. It’s a vicious circle of rudeness you’d never see take place around the dinner table. Well maybe at my house, but not at most normal people’s houses. Oh and by the way, I DO NOT KNOW if it’s me you are talking about when your status update says “and you KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!” You have to tell me these things because otherwise I assume that I am the only friend you have who isn’t an asshole.

I also wonder what in the hell made us all think that with the invention of the Internet that everyone out there on the world wide web really wanted to hear every single thought we have on every single subject out there today.  I mean just because you have the freedom to say whatever you want, doesn’t mean you should exercise that right every freaking minute of the day.  Sometimes silence speaks louder than words. Even typewritten ones. And sometimes you should just keep your fucking mouth shut because not doing so will make you look like a huge idiot.

And what’s up with the cell phones nowadays? It’s impossible to get anyone to look at you in the eyes during a conversation anymore. I used to get irritated when guys looked at my chest during a conversation.  Now thanks to cell phones, my boobs aren’t even noticeable anymore because everyone has their eyes glued to their cell phones checking their texts, emails, Facebook page, Twitter page, and whatever the hell is so fucking more important than the living breathing human being standing in front of you trying to interact with you.  Now, if you have kids, I will give you a pass to look at the damn text. But if your kid isn’t in danger of loss of life, sight, or limb then I expect you to put the phone back down until we are done talking.

It’s also rude to talk on the phone while you are in a checkout line actually checking out, in a movie theater, the library (duh!), etc.  And if you must absolutely take a call while in one of these places, for the love of God and all that’s good, use your inside voice. There is no need to YELL ABOUT ANYTHING UNLESS YOU JUST LOST A LOVED ONE OR HAVE JUST EXPERIENCED SOME OTHER DEVASTATING LIFE EVENT. Then by all means yell all you want.  I’m all about expressing your emotions. If you spent more time interacting with real live people in person and not over the Internet then maybe someone would actually give you a hug when you needed one.

Then there’s the flip side of the cell phone rudeness equation — people who don’t answer their phone, voicemails, or texts.  I get it that sometimes you’re otherwise occupied and that’s perfectly fine.  I don’t really want to talk to you while you’re taking a dump anyways. But any text or voicemail that contains a question should be answered and try to shoot for doing it in a timely manner.  If I’m asking you if you want to go hang out tonight and you don’t answer me until tomorrow then I will think you hate me and I will put Voodoo curses on you while I’m forced to sit at home for the evening being bored.

I also hate to talk to people who are driving. I don’t like the commentary about the dickhead drivers cutting you off in traffic and I loathe the fact that if you’re expecting to be on the road for a long time, you think I’ll entertain you during your trip.  That’s what the fucking radio is for. I also don’t like to be called while I’m driving because one, the radio is entertaining me and two, I’m a horrible driver who should be paying attention to the road because if I don’t then I turn into one of those dickhead drivers you are cussing out.

The really enlightening thing about all of this is, I’ve just learned I’m a huge asshole, because at one point or another I’ve been guilty of doing each thing I’ve talked about pissing me off.  Well except for the “You know who you are” Facebook status.  I’ve never done that.  The great thing about me is if you’ve pissed me off, you WILL know about it and it will probably end up right here.  So stayed tuned…



8 Comments leave one →
  1. July 19, 2012 9:54 pm

    As a teacher I couldn’t agree more. I force kids to look me in the eye and converse with me regularly. Social skills are disappearing. In addition, you used the word asshat-ish. That’s impressive.

    • July 19, 2012 10:12 pm

      Maybe schools should offer a Social Skills 101 class. They probably offer that online. LOL!

  2. July 20, 2012 12:16 am

    Um…um…I’m reading this in my car while driving. I’m also commenting on it, and giving my gridlock traffic neighbor a nasty look because I felt like it….I have a problem, I know. Addiction is a terrible thing. the first step is admitting I have a…hell no! No problem here! 😉

  3. July 20, 2012 12:43 am

    Yep. Not only that, but when you ask someone to do something nowadays all you hear about is how “busy” they are. Because they have to get home and play Farmville or some other equally useless techno toy activity. Don’t get me started.

    • July 20, 2012 6:55 pm

      Farmville?! I’m just trying to find time to get my damn oil changed!

  4. Randle permalink
    July 20, 2012 4:30 pm

    Mark Twain would be very proud of You!! And I think Twain ROCKED!!!!

    • July 20, 2012 6:57 pm

      He’d probably be too busy Tweeting to even notice me. Haha!

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