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Hi, My Name is….NOT Melissa!

April 12, 2013


20130412-125808.jpgThis is probably something that shouldn’t bother me as much as it does, but it bothers the hell out of me. It is probably the top offender on the list of things that drive me bat shit crazy. I don’t know about you, but when I meet someone, I make an effort to remember his or her name. It’s kinda just the most important thing in human interaction you can do. It makes a person feel like you are interested in them – that you care. It can make and break deals.


It’s really not a hard task when you think about it. There are eleventy articles on the Internets chock full of tips to help you remember someone’s name. Probably first and foremost of those is to pay fucking attention when you are talking to someone.  In other words, put down your damn smart phone and listen.


It goes like this:


Me:  “Hi, my name is Michelle.”


You: “Hi Michelle. Nice to meet you.”


Then during the conversation, you use my name a couple of times, to help you put my face with my name. And maybe during that conversation that you are paying attention to, you’ll find something we have in common. Thus reinforcing a bond between us that will help you remember my name. In case you forgot, it’s Michelle.


You might even, at some point, find yourself singing Michelle, My Belle to me. I get that a lot. I don’t really like it, but if it helps you remember my name, then have at it. I mean the only other song that I can think of that uses the name Michelle, is Guns ‘n Roses My Michelle, in which the said Michelle is a drug addicted ho, so I’m kinda glad that’s not the first song people think to sing to me when they find out my name, but I digress.


I would also rather you just come out and say, “Well shit, I can’t remember your name” than to call me by a name that is not mine. We’ve all been there. There’s no shame in forgetting something. As a matter of fact, I find honesty to be one of the most endearing qualities a human being can possess. I admire a person who can admit they are fallible.


So do me a favor. If you can’t remember my name, then opt to call me nothing at all. We can have a short conversation where you pretend you know me, we can exchange pleasantries, all without including proper salutations using each other’s names.


Whatever you choose to do, please note, MY NAME IS NOT MELISSA. Or Heather. For some reason, those are the two top names I get called that are not my name. I get Melissa…it starts with an M and well…that’s about it. But Heather? What the fuck?! I don’t even look like a Heather. Do I?


But alas, the other day someone says me to me, “What’s your name?” and I told him, “It’s Michelle.” Twenty-four hours later, I encounter said individual again, and he calls me Melissa. What. The. Fuck.




P.S. Do people named Melissa get called Michelle a lot?
















24 Comments leave one →
  1. April 12, 2013 6:38 pm

    I so get you. My surname was Mc cahill. When i was nursing everyone would say Nurse mc cahill that is very unusual. Then 2minutes later they would call me nurse cahill!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. April 12, 2013 6:50 pm

    My name is Megan but the favorite name I have been called by someone who couldn’t be bothered to remember mine was “Chris’s fuckin wife.” At least she knew my husbands name.

    • April 13, 2013 11:41 am

      Ouch! Thanks for sharing…I don’t feel so bad now 😉

  3. Mark permalink
    April 12, 2013 11:32 pm

    I find a set of brass knuckles with your name embossed across the striking surface tends to make an impression.

  4. April 13, 2013 1:19 pm

    My name is Jonna. Sounds just like Donna, yet 3 out of 4 people say it wrong. I’ve been called Joanna, Joanna, Jenna, and Jenny. My high school social studies teacher couldn’t even get close, and called me Gina! WTF? 2 years later, he had my younger sister in class, and said “Oh, you’re Gina’s sister!” To which my sister replied “no, you dummy, I’m Jonna’s sister!”

    • Jonna permalink
      December 12, 2013 8:49 pm

      My name is also Jonna and I totally agree!! I actually am shocked when my name is pronounced correctly. My favorite was being called Shawna…when I worked is customer service and would finish my phone intro as ‘this is Jonna’ guess it sounded like Shawna.

      • December 16, 2013 8:50 pm

        Hey Gina and Shawna, thanks for reading! 😉

  5. Brian permalink
    May 11, 2013 4:00 pm

    My wife Melissa gets called Michelle all the time. Last night at our first co-Ed softball game of the year, we were waiting for Michelle to go up to bat except it was MELISSA!!! They kept saying it all night. Happens all the time to her!

  6. June 28, 2015 7:53 pm

    Oh my goodness! My name is Michelle and I get called Melissa ALL THE TIME. I’ve also been called heather. What is it with these names and ours? How peculiar!

  7. Melissa permalink
    January 5, 2016 1:17 pm

    Just found this because I’m so frustrated that I get called Michelle ALL.THE.TIME. My name is Melissa. Not Michelle. Also not Molly.

    I completely agree that I would rather someone not call me anything than to call me by the wrong name. Even my new landlord sometimes calls me Michelle, and he has a ton of paperwork with my name on it and is my next-door-neighbor!

    • January 6, 2016 8:48 pm

      I totally feel your pain, Michelle! 😉 😉 (OK, so I totally know your name is Melissa. Please forgive me!)

  8. Melissa permalink
    November 11, 2016 7:25 am

    I was just sitting in office and a colleague called me Michelle AGAIN for the 100000s time in my life (my name is Melissa). Decided to google why this happens coz it also infuriates me a lot more than it should!haha but i get it SO often. Seems to happen to a lot of people? but WHYYY??

    • November 11, 2016 9:19 am

      I just remembered…I was at a wedding 20 some years ago where the groom gave a lovely toast to his bride at the wedding. Her name was Melissa but he called her Michelle. Needless to say, they aren’t married anymore.

  9. MELISSA, not Michelle permalink
    June 7, 2017 4:43 pm

    I came across this post after googling “my name is Melissa, people keep calling me Michelle” which is so silly, but I’m so frustrated after years of hearing people call me Michelle. So yes, it DEFINITELY happens in the reverse.

  10. July 20, 2017 2:21 am

    My name is Angusina. I have just about heard it all: Augustina, Augusina, Angustina, Agastina, Agnesina, Angunisa, Angunsina, Eve-Angus, Angus (don’t you dare), I used to hate my name, but I just hate the fact that people get it wrong so much!!!! My Starbucks name is Rose.

  11. Melissa permalink
    August 18, 2017 12:11 pm

    Yes! All the time they call me Michelle! So much so that I’ve searched google to find out what it means & I find your post!

    • August 18, 2017 12:20 pm

      I was called Megan yesterday. 😂 Thanks for stopping by!

  12. April 9, 2018 3:36 pm

    Yes, my name is Melissa and people call me Michelle sometimes. So annoying!!! What’s weird is I had a friend named Michelle and they would call her Melissa. I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to get these names right.

  13. Michelle permalink
    February 12, 2019 12:39 pm

    Oh my goodness… I feel like I wrote this. For some random reason i googled this today. Okay, well actually it’s because someone called me Melissa. I wanted to see if it happens to others too, and sure enough… ugh. My name is Michelle, not Melissa or Heather! I get called both constantly.

  14. Melissa permalink
    November 18, 2019 6:08 pm

    My name is Melissa and I get called Michelle constantly. People that have known me for years call me Michelle.

  15. January 24, 2022 6:06 am

    Yup, years later people are still frustrated…still googling this. I am another Michelle that gets called Melissa regularly. I’ve researched to see if there was some language similarity or psychological reason and still nothing satisfactory. Also poled Mellissa’s and found they are called Michelle. Sigh…..

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