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The Crappiest Cake Ever

November 1, 2013

cat shitHello? Is there anybody out there? (Extra points if you get that reference).

I know it’s been a while since I’ve put anything up here. Between fighting for justice, raising 4 kids, and fulfilling my life long dream of becoming a musician, seems I don’t find much time for writing anymore.  If I’m lucky maybe some wayward soul from Seoul may read this…and if not, at least I’ll get this thing that’s bugging me off my chest.

You may be wondering what onerous event has awakened the writing beast inside me and inspired me to write again.  Well, dear gentle (singular) reader, I will tell you what has inspired me to write again.  It’s cat shit.

Yep. You read that right.  Cat shit.  Seems a few of my friends are sharing this recipe on Facebook of a cake that resembles a cat litter box.  Apparently, I have lots of Facebook friends who have enough free time on their hands to make cat turds out of Tootsie Rolls and serve them up to their friends for dessert.

But what I really want to know is WHO IN THE FUCK thought up this ridiculous dessert? Was it some poor stay at home mom who had been deprived of human interaction a tad too long? (Hey, I’ve been there, I do not judge).  Or was it a bunch of drunk hillbillies Appalachian Americans enjoying some ‘shine, sitting around a fire talking about how it’d be funny to serve up some cat shit to their kinfolk.  “Hey, Billy Joe Jim Bob, you know what’d be funny? Let’s make us up some cake that looks like cat shit.  That there’d be funny for Cindy Lou and Harry Frank’s weddin’ reception!”

For the love of God and all that is good, do NOT feed your family and friends foods that resemble animal feces.  Why you ask? Because, Number One, this dessert just says I Hate You. I Hate You So Much I Want You to Eat Cat Shit.  Number Two (pun intended), see Number One.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Shawn Benson permalink
    November 1, 2013 8:47 pm

    Oh come on Michelle…have a little fun…or a little cat shit…

    • November 1, 2013 8:53 pm

      I can think of about eleventy ways to have fun and not one of them involves cat shit! 😀

  2. Birdie permalink
    November 2, 2013 3:08 pm

    Give up music, keep writing!!! Miss your stories!

  3. November 2, 2013 5:04 pm

    Totally concur–that’s not even amusing!

    Is the opening line a reference to Comfortably Numb??

  4. November 4, 2013 11:27 am

    Is this a cake you give to your enemies? Or to someone who you want to break up with? In that case, I kind of see the point. With one move you can say “I Hate You. I Hate You So Much I Want You to Eat Cat Shit,” but then you can also say “but i don’t hate you so much that I would break up with you without making sure you had junk food to binge on while you cried.”

    • November 4, 2013 7:49 pm

      Hahahaha!! It’s definitely a break up cake!

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