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Sippy Cups are for Toddlers (and Wimps)

January 23, 2014

wineAll day while I’m slaving at my 8 to 5 job, I think about the silly products I see that are invariably making some lucky ass beau coup amounts of dollars.  Then I think to myself there is no reason why I can’t come up with such a product and join the ranks of lucky asses sitting somewhere on a beach sipping fruity cocktails and living the easy life. My co-worker, T, and I often rarely talk (in case one of my bosses is reading) about what we could invent that would allow us to join the ranks of such elite.

Some of these inventions have me scratching my head, the latest being the Wine Sippy Cup.  Basically, some genius (and I use that term loosely, sorry Wine Sippy Cup Maker), decided to take a wine glass and set it inside a plastic tumbler with a lid.  And now because it was on the Today Show or something, everyone wants one, at least judging from my Facebook newsfeed.

In my book, the Wine Sippy Cup is inherently flawed.  I would never spend cash money on this item.  And here’s why:

1.  If I were to find myself wishing to partake in wine on the go (not that I would ever do such a thing), I would want a container that was not SEE THROUGH. Duh.

2.  I would also want that non-see through container to hold as much of whatever adult beverage I would want to consume on the go.  Because I’m on the go and can’t hop back over to the fridge for a refill.  Look at all the wasted space in the Wine Sippy Cup.  That whole thing could be holding booze, but instead, the Wine Sippy Cup holds a small amount of wine for the sake of looking cute.

3.  Lastly, I would want my on-the-go adult beverage vessel to convey the message that I’m drinking anything but an adult beverage.  I live in Ohio.  We aren’t allowed to have adult beverages on the go.  Around here they put you in jail for that shit.  And until they have bubble baths and martinis in jail, I have no desire to check in  at that place.

So…who is this cup really made for? Not the serious on-the-go wine drinker.  Nope.  It’s for that special friend of yours who you can’t trust to either not ruin your white carpet or break your fine crystal whenever you host a soiree at your house.  If you really want to drink on the go, I suggest the new Straight From Helle 64-ounce opaque insulated travel mug.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. January 23, 2014 8:47 pm

    Oh the power of the Internet impulse buy.

    • January 23, 2014 10:03 pm

      I know right. I just need one remotely good idea and a 3 am infomercial. Then cross my fingers that all the drunks and insomniacs will need it! LOL

  2. Dena M permalink
    January 23, 2014 9:04 pm

    I mean, really what you need is a 64 oz reusable Big Gulp from 711. That’s what the moms at our community pool use, anyway for their “Slushie”

    • January 23, 2014 10:00 pm

      Dena, what you mean is you and all your friends need a Helle on the go adult beverage container!! 😉

  3. January 24, 2014 1:52 am

    This is most certainly designed (loosely used as well) for the crew on those yachts in Monte Carlo who cannot pristinely hold their crystal glass of 500 euro the bottle wine on the rear deck of the boat but who are constantly on the move checking that the yacht is not crushing any of the tourists with cameras leaning over the dock trying to get a photo of someone famous’s cleavage or other bits….they are crew…but they are crew on a multimillion euro yacht and so also receive lovely perks like expensive wine in cheap glasses….

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