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What a Doo-zy: Yeah I Really Did That. Twice.

March 3, 2014

Grammar-Nazi-punishmentsHi, my name is Helle and I am a Grammar Nazi.  The first step to overcoming your problem is admitting it, right?  I never hesitate to correct my children’s poor grammar on Facebook (I’m sure they love that) or point out others’ grammar and spelling misdeeds.  I can’t help it.  It irks me when I see “your” instead of “you’re” or “their” instead of “they’re.”  Drives me insane.  And people who spell ridiculous with an e (rediculous)…well that just sends me over the edge.  I won’t even mention what happens when subject verb agreement is broken, because then it just gets downright ugly.  Anyone who knows me knows I take pride in being well-spoken and refined in my speech.

But as things usually happen in my life, this little problem of mine came back to bite me in the ass today.  I was talking with a client over the phone explaining that her paperwork was accomplishing just what she wanted it to do.  However, she wasn’t convinced.  I was trying to explain, in layman terms, that yes we were fixing her problem.  At a loss for words I said (you may want to sit down here), “Yes, this document UN-DO’s that.”  In case the severity of this is lost in the written word, un-do’s is pronounced un-dooze.  Yep, horrifying, I know.  I knew it as soon as it came out of my mouth.  KNEW it.  But hey, you can’t un-do words once they spew out of your mouth.  Lucky for me, the client didn’t catch onto my huge grammar faux pas.

I can’t say the same for my co-worker, who was sitting right next to me.  Nope, she immediately caught on and burst out into a fit of laughter.  She was bent over speechless and laying her head on her desk. For a minute I wasn’t sure if she was having a seizure or choking (she had just put in some very old, stale Laffy Taffy in her mouth).  Anyhoo, whatever was happening to her made me start laughing as well, so now I’m on the phone with a confused client trying to contain my laughter and failing miserably.

As if things couldn’t get worse, I said it again. UN-DO’s.  Shawn lost it completely.  I lost it completely, finally realizing the horrific thing that had come out of my mouth for a SECOND time.  I couldn’t stop laughing and I was aghast as I realized I was still on the phone with the client.  I had no choice to explain to this person why I was having totally inappropriate, uncontrollable laughter.  I certainly didn’t want our client to think I was laughing at her, so I had to fess up.  And I did.

Luckily, the client was very understanding and had a little laugh at with me.  She then told me she was adding the new word to her own vocabulary because she liked it so much.  Lord, help us.  I’m contributing to the erosion of our civilized society one UN-DO’s at a time…

I learned a very important lesson today. No matter how educated or refined you become, every now and then, your redneck roots will show.  I think our client had it right.  I’m just gonna own it.  And possibly submit my new word to UrbanDictionary.com.

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