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Bite Me, Oxford Dictionary!

November 19, 2015

I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in my life than I was this week when I got wind that the Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year wasn’t actually a word. You may not know this, but I’m a huge fan of words. I totally got my panties in a bunch when the dictionary decided that the word “literally” didn’t actually have to mean literally because so many people were using it wrong.  What the hell, let’s just cave to the masses and make it mean something entirely different!

As I said previously, there are so many words in the English language that we never use that are so spectacular. We don’t need to change the definition of a few words to relate to the dumbasses who don’t own a dictionary. And we most definitely don’t need to add emoticons as words because people are too lazy to ACTUALLY USE WORDS.

Don’t get me wrong. I love emoticons. They are fabulous. For texting. But when I am laughing so hard I’m crying in REAL LIFE, I can’t just hold up a crying-so-hard-I’m-laughing pillow that I picked up at a kiosk in the mall, because mainly my purse isn’t that big and, well, that’s just not convenient.

I can, perhaps, state that I am verklempt. Or elated. How about euphoric or overcome with tears of joy. Exalted, jubilant, animated, aroused, enraptured, exhilarated, intoxicated, blissful, gleeful, joyous, on cloud nine, rapturous, or overwrought with emotion.

And I came up with all of those without even trying that hard. Mostly because I own a thesaurus. Which I’m sure that the Oxford Dictionary, and most of the free world, has now forgotten even exists.

So the next time you’re feeling all face-with-tears-of-joy, hopefully, you’ll have cell phone handy to describe how you feel. And anyone who doesn’t will just see ☐, which will totally describe how you feel, unless you have that emoticon pillow in your back pocket to describe how you really feel.

Thanks, Oxford Dictionary. C3Y4e550_400x400.png



One Comment leave one →
  1. November 20, 2015 2:02 am

    Well said! I know it’s self-serving and dorky to reference one’s own posts, especially when they are ancient but here was my take on literally a while back:

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