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Hello, 1950 is Calling and They Want Their Views Back

February 22, 2017

juneRecently a bill was introduced in Utah addressing the pay gap between men and women. That’s a good thing, right? I mean why should your pay be based upon the genitalia between your legs? One would think that it should be based upon the work you do and, quite possibly, whether or not you do it well. But due to the recent political changes in the US, some jack wagon thought it would be a great idea to write a letter to the editor of his local newspaper denouncing such a move.

Mr. James Green, the Vice Chair of the Wasatch County Republican Party, actually wrote words on paper and then sent them to media outlets for publishing, that stated he thought that men should make more money because they are the primary breadwinners in society and that paying women the same amount of money as their male counterparts ruins the whole makeup of the world. As a matter of fact, it just turns the whole world topsy-turvy because it encourages more women to enter to workforce, thus lowering the available jobs for the bread-winning men to support their families.

Obviously, Mr. Green’s contact with the outside world is limited to his DVD collection of Leave it to Beaver. He later apologized for his letter and resigned from his position, but defended his words by citing the “historical reasons for pay disparity”, one of which being that women sometimes take a break from the workforce to raise children.

I have a few words for Mr. Green, and anybody who still holds the same antiquated beliefs. Yes, some women are in “traditional” positions where they decide to stay at home and raise children. Should they be penalized for that? What happens when their husbands decide to take up with the “office secretary” and leave their wife and children high and dry to fend for themselves and the former stay at home mom has to enter the workforce to support kids that the “breadwinner” refuses to support? What happens to that secretary that he impregnates out of wedlock and refuses to acknowledge the child he produced? What happens to the child of the lesbian couple who has two working females making less than their male counterparts because they don’t have a penis?

Hello, it’s 2017, kids! I don’t know about you, but I was raised with the idea that you want your kids to do better than you did. That’s a pretty high bar that I need to pass for my kids. Nobody paid for my college education. I spent 10 years paying for that bitch, mostly in jobs that only women could get, while my male counterparts made more. To this day, my male counterparts, who do equal work, and who have been on the job for a lesser amount of time than I have, and don’t have a college degree (like I do) make one penny more than I do per hour.

But I’m the one causing this mess? If Mr. Green wants to pay for my four kids to attend college at $18,000 per year (in state), I’ll gladly step aside, and sip cocktails by the pool instead of busting my ass at my government job.

Until that happens, Mr. Green, and his counterparts, should STFU.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 5, 2017 2:36 am

    Wow…. wow…wow…

    Here’s something for your Hellie!

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

    The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Helle (sorry Hell) exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…. …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’


    If you have heard, please overlook this crap!

    If not, pardon the pun….and have a nice day 🙂

    • December 5, 2017 10:13 am

      I would’ve given that student their diploma right on the spot 😉

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