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Down the Rabbit Hole: There’s a pill for that

March 22, 2017

pillsIf you’ve spent any amount of time in front of a TV recently, then you can’t help to see one hundred and fifty nine commercials about prescription drugs. Usually, they start off with a moderately attractive person who has some medical condition that is hindering their enjoyment of every day life. Then the ad will claim to be able to fix that medical condition with their special concoction. This immediately results in the moderately attractive person’s frown turning upside down. It’s magic!

Then while you watch moderately attractive person once again enjoying life with other moderately attractive people while they frolic by a lake with a picnic basket, a slightly generic, but nonetheless annoying voice, starts talking about all the things that could go wrong while taking this magical concoction. You know, things like anal leakage, heart arrhythmia, involuntary muscle movements, cancer, coma, and/or death.

Whoa…back the truck up! I’ve got my choice between psoriasis or cancer? IBS or increased liver enzymes? Depression or death by suicide? Um, hello? I don’t know about you, but I’m imagining people in white lab coats conducting experiments and then conversing amongst themselves:

Stan: Well, Fred, we found a cure for erectile dysfunction, but it’s going to make hair grow out of your eyeballs and result in uncontrollable farting.

Fred: Excellent, Stan! That’s some fine work you’ve done there. Let’s name it Xizirqibja! Everyone will love it! We’ll be rich and sipping Mai Tais in the Virgin Islands in no time at all. Insert evil laugh.

Never mind the fact that poor dude taking Xizirqibja will never find anyone to actually have sex with him because of his hairy eyeballs and incessant flatulence. What the hell are these people thinking? And do they get a bonus for every X, Q, Z, and J they use in the drug name?

First off, I’m not putting anything into my mouth that I cannot pronounce that doesn’t follow standard grammatical procedures. Secondly, I’m not going to trade off on a non-fatal condition with another thing that is just as much as an ass pain as the thing I’m suffering from to begin with. Tell me one person who’s willing to take a pill to cure a slightly annoying, albeit unsightly, yet non-fatal, skin condition with something that might result in cancer, which can KILL YOU. Really, just name that one person and provide me with their contact information. So I can slap some common sense back into them.

Since our lawmakers aren’t doing anything to rein these dipshits in, it’s your job as the consumer to say enough with this shit. Stop buying into this crap and take a stand. Demand something better for your money. Don’t settle for some run of the mill crap while paying big bucks to live a mediocre life. The money isn’t in the cure; it’s in the keeping you alive just long enough to where you’ll need more of their special concoctions. After they give you hairy eyeballs to cure your ED, they’ll come up with something to fix hairy eyeballs. But it’ll give you incontinence, which amazingly they’ll have another pill that can fix that.

Big Pharma isn’t into cures. They’re into dollars. And while you’re dealing with your hairy eyeballs and leaky anuses, their CEO’s are in the Caribbean dining on lobster while butlers bring them fruity cocktails to sip on.

Think about that the next time you feel compelled to ask your doctor for that fad drug you saw during a commercial break while watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.






One Comment leave one →
  1. March 31, 2017 6:47 pm

    And that is why I research every pill I put in my body. They also go through your kidneys and do damage to it – every med you take. Cholesterol medicine is the worst – after being in muscle pain for several months, I stopped it and took a natural way to lower my cholesterol…and it worked!

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