Bottoms Up!

Fashion is a weird thing and sometimes, trends can be even more confusing. I mean who actually decided that wearing your pants so half of your underbritches are showing was a desirable look? I’ll tell you who, people in prison. And then some dumb ass “fashion designer” decided to cash in on the idea and sell the look to the masses and now we have a lot of equally white-collar dumb asses wearing such look thinking they are gangsta because they listen to the rap music that 97.9 plays on the weekends at 2 am.

This phenomenon is occurring again in the latest pants fashion. Just today, I saw an article announcing Nordstrom’s is now selling jeans that have been pre-dirtied for your convenience, for only $425. Who exactly is buying this shit? Are there hoards of really rich people who feel the need to don a pair of pants that make them look like they are laboring all day long in a gravel pit for $10 a hour? Because if there is, I will personally go to the K-Marts and buy a pair of Wrangler’s for $19.99 and roll them around in the mud and sell them to you for $250. What a bargain!

As any good entrepreneur would do, I searched the Google to see if this was really a thing that I could I could make money with and it appears that people are willing to spend their hard earned cash on shit I would laugh at. In addition to the dirty jeans, did you know that see through jeans are a thing?(P.S. Those aren’t really jeans, they are see through pants. (Refer to that fairy tale about the Emperor’s new pants.) I hope The Donald is reading…because Emperor…new pants… Is the joke lost on me?

If the see through jeans don’t appeal to you, then maybe the My Ass is Open for Biz jeans would be more your style.

These might have a limited market, but with the current social atmosphere, I’m willing to take the chance. Maybe this is the last time you can get lucky before we engage in nuclear war with some second world country (North Korea). All my contacts say we shouldn’t worry about these fuckers, but have you seen that guy? He looks crazier than Trump, so I’m not hedging my bets. That haircut alone says I don’t give a fuck about humanity.

Then again, if we’re judging leaders on haircuts…

We’re all dying.

Make mine a triple.  Cheers!