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Hi, I’m back. Drinking cocktails and writing my senator like any good American would do.

October 31, 2019

portmanHi Rob,

I hope this email finds you well. I’m worried you haven’t been receiving my correspondence, as I’ve written to you quite a bit lately and you have yet to respond.

I noticed yesterday that you took the time to make a brief statement that you felt it was wrong for trump to ask a foreign government for help with his re-election campaign, but you didn’t feel it was an impeachable offense. So Rob, (I hope you don’t mind me calling you by your first name since I’m technically your employer), I’m wondering, what exactly would you classify as an impeachable offense? Apparently, you were bothered enough by the illegal withholding of aid to the Ukraine unless the request to fabricate dirt on Biden was fulfilled that you actually made a call to the White House on September 11, 2019 (!), to ask that he release the money.

I did a little research and I’d like to remind you of your own words during the Clinton impeachment:

“After careful consideration, I have concluded that President Clinton has committed serious offenses that merit impeachment…obstructing justice and abusing the power of the presidency violate the rule of law that all citizens—even the President—must obey. And, of course, these acts are fundamentally inconsistent with the oath the President…

 I am also concerned because the President—by the very nature of his office—has a special responsibility to set an example. At a minimum, there cannot be one standard for the President and another for the citizens he serves…”

I hope, Rob, that you will take some time to reflect upon the Constitution of the United States, as well as our laws and your values, and come to the realization that this man is a danger to our country. I know that you are fully aware that you serve the people of Ohio (not trump) and you took an oath to uphold the Constitution. It seems that you have enough self awareness and personal respect for the “dignity of the presidency” and the country itself to recognize the standard to which the Commander-in-Chief must be held — that is, unless you, an elected official of the U.S. Senate, are despicably putting party over nation.

You are in the unique position of not being up for re-election until 2022, so I’m not quite sure why you fear trump’s ire. In fact, Rob, you’re actually in a position to stop this madness and quite possibly be a hero in the annals of history.

But, if you do nothing — well then, I can only assume you support foreign interference in US elections, violating the Emoluments Clause, abuse of power, obstruction of justice, lying, and the decay of the values for which upon the United States of America was founded.

Very Respectfully,


PS. I realize this is a weird way of coming back after a long absence. But you already knew I’m weird if you followed me. Maybe stick with me and see if I get my funny back or if Rob responds to me (yes, I really sent this to him). Promise I’ll publish any response! And maybe I’ll surprise you with some other stuff in the meantime.

PSS. He won’t respond.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. November 1, 2019 6:20 am

    I’ve been thinking the same thing. However, my senator is Warren and I’m sure I’ll never receive a response.

  2. November 30, 2019 9:08 pm

    Quite an articulate letter but in my experience Republicans are turning evil. Therefore someone who wants to make the world better should not expect a response.

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