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About Helle

confessionalHelle is a creative free spirit who resides in the rolling hills of Southern Ohio. She enjoys long walks on the beach, fine cocktails, and heated discussions about the death penalty. Oh wait, I think I got this messed up with my application for the next Real Housewives show. Let me try again.

Helle is a chick who likes to write. She does live in the rolling hills of Southern Ohio. That part is totally true. She also does love fruity cocktails, but the scale shows her numbers that make her cry after she’s had a bunch of fine cocktails, so now she drinks Diet 7 Up with her vodka. Helle also loves the beach, but she prefers to sit in a comfy lounge chair with a good book and fine diet cocktail as opposed to walking on it.

In her free time, Helle likes to attend concerts and have cocktails with Diet 7 Up. She loves when you like her blog posts, share them with your friends, and tell her how awesome she is. And if you happen to see her out, buy her fine (diet) cocktails.

29 Comments leave one →
  1. April 28, 2010 6:41 pm

    great to see you writing again! how’s that concert thing going?

  2. April 28, 2010 6:45 pm

    Not too shabby, I’ve seen more so far than I did last year. Chevelle and Black Eyed Peas in February, Sublime w/ Rome this Friday πŸ™‚ And it feels good to be writing again!

  3. That Girl permalink
    May 24, 2010 5:31 pm

    This is about the funniest blog I have ever read, you are a fantastic writer!! What an awesome display of talent. Thanks for sharing, Bahahahahahahahah!

    • May 24, 2010 5:42 pm

      Thank you so much! Now where should I send your check? πŸ˜‰

  4. May 24, 2010 5:57 pm

    I am sitting at work CRACKING up! I think you are an awesome writer – I will be tuning in.

    Clicking favorite button on my computa πŸ™‚

    • May 24, 2010 6:26 pm

      Don’t get in trouble, Christi, then we will both be unemployed! Thanks so much for reading and putting my in your favs. I’m feeling all special today πŸ™‚

  5. May 24, 2010 6:55 pm

    refreshing to know that your New Year’s resolution is not weight-loss, but something totally fun!

    • May 24, 2010 8:44 pm

      Yeah, I like food to much to diet. I figured the only way I’d ever keep a resolution is if it were something I enjoyed doing. πŸ™‚

  6. catrinam permalink
    May 24, 2010 11:53 pm

    Guns? You like guns??!!! What the???

    • May 25, 2010 12:24 pm

      I do! Planning a blog on my new hobby, so stay tuned!

  7. May 25, 2010 10:36 am

    Hi there. Love your blog. Have just posted a link to you on my Facebook page for all the other whacky moms I know. Keep on coming! Warm greetings from the Ruhrpott in Germany. y*r mishe

    • May 25, 2010 11:54 am

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing the link to my blog. Much appreciated!

  8. May 25, 2010 2:42 pm

    Wait, you said you’re from southern Ohio–when did y’all get electricity?

    • May 25, 2010 2:52 pm

      I’m one of the lucky ones, my neighbor, not so much. Thanks for reading!

  9. May 25, 2010 5:37 pm

    may i add your url to my blog? funny and genuine…..that’s as good as grey goose and redbull.

    • May 25, 2010 6:22 pm

      Of course, I’d be honored! Thanks. (I’ve never tried it with Red Bull. Caffeine is not something I need more of). πŸ™‚

  10. Rami permalink
    May 25, 2010 7:53 pm

    WOW! I should have befriended you much sooner. I did not know you were a blogger and an aspiring writer. I must say that I am very impressed. Great job Tard!!

    • May 25, 2010 8:26 pm

      Haha, ya brat, now you know all about my fabulosity! πŸ˜‰

  11. May 29, 2010 10:18 am

    I am currently majoring in Slack Ass right now…does it pay good?…kidding

    • May 29, 2010 12:05 pm

      The pay is crappy, but it’s a fun job! πŸ˜‰

  12. December 7, 2011 6:46 am

    I really enjoy your site!

  13. May 29, 2014 8:30 pm

    You sound like my kind of gal! Love your writings and your bio made me laugh. Now I want to change mine…

  14. September 28, 2017 1:47 pm

    I hadn’t thought of Diet 7up with vodka. I did once try vanilla flavored vodka with club soda once – ugh!

  15. February 19, 2020 9:16 am

    Your writing of the spoofed Christmas letter is gold, I just came across it. Cheers!

  16. Declan Cahill permalink
    November 26, 2020 10:09 am

    Brilliant work. Incredible insights. Extraordinary talent.



  17. Gerry permalink
    November 6, 2021 12:21 pm

    Well Helle, if you ever make your way to SW Florida, it would be my sincere pleasure to treat you to a fine cocktail with Diet 7Up on one of our gorgeous beaches.

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